


the noise at the end of the world

by sapphire_child



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode Tag, Episode: s11e22 We Happy Few, Episode: s11e23 Alpha and Omega, Gen, I just want these two assholes to actually TALK about their issues during the finale, M/M, Season/Series 11, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Speculation, based off sneak peek for s11e23, is that too much to ask?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 00:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6931171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire_child/pseuds/sapphire_child
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>This is probably going to be his last chance. His last opportunity to let bygones be and water under the bridge and all that. Dean knows there’s a lot of stuff he’s screwed up over the years when it comes to Cas. He could have done better. Been better. They could have had so much</i> more<i>. And now…now there’s no time.</i></p><p>Based on promos/spec for 11x23.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the noise at the end of the world

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on my own spec from promo pics and the promo video for the season finale - so, spoilers for those I guess? Basically, after 11x22 I just kind of desperately want these two to actually get a chance to TALK things through and I'm not so sure we'll get much of it in the actual show so - fanfic!
> 
> Title from "The Last Ship" by Sting.

Dean feels like he’s barely had a chance to breathe. Between Chuck, Lucifer, Amara. The end of the world – all over again. And then there’s Cas, who was returned to them so abruptly that Dean is still having trouble suppressing the heebie-jeebies he gets whenever they’re in the same room. Logically he knows that Lucifer is gone, remembers all too clearly the moment when Amara tore him out of Cas’ vessel. But it’s one thing to know and another thing altogether for his brain to catch up from three steps behind.

It probably doesn’t help that they haven’t talked yet – not properly anyway. There just hasn’t been time. It’s all hands on deck, the last scramble before the boat capsizes. After months of worrying, sleepless nights and fruitless research, they’re scrambling to play catch up as everything spirals out of control.

Cas isn’t happy about the plan.

He doesn’t exactly argue against it, but his lips thin and his face pinches every time it gets brought up. They’re kind of pressed for time, what with all of creation hanging in the balance, but dammit, if Dean’s going to nuke himself to save the world then he’s going to at least try to clear the air.

Mostly, he just wants to know _why._

“Cas?”

The angel is leaning against the edge of the table in the war room. Everyone else is still in the kitchen strategizing, but he’s out here, white knuckled and head bowed. When he hears Dean speak he lets out a harsh sigh and turns his glare away.

“Dean.” It’s as close to a greeting as he’s going to get. Cas looks on the verge of smiting something and Dean doesn’t much fancy the chances of the table if it somehow ends up on the receiving end.

He raises an eyebrow, steps a little further into Cas’ space. “What, you’re pissed at me now?” he guesses. Cas seethes a moment, but his wrath isn’t directed at Dean.  
“I took Lucifer on so that you wouldn’t have to do something like this,” he finally growls, but he still looks more upset than angry. “And now…” he trails off into a small noise of frustration. Dean tries to lighten the atmosphere with a joke.

“Well,” he rubs at the back of his head and tries for a weak smile. “Nobody else has any other ideas so...”

Cas shakes his head, a dog worrying at a bone. “There must be another way that doesn’t involve you taking on a suicide mission.”

Dean goes cold all over at that and he’s suddenly furious. “Really?” he snaps. “Remind me again Cas, who was it who invited Lucifer to the party?” the words tumble out, unbidden. Cas is silent and Dean makes no effort to stem the flow of vitriol, even though he’s pretty sure he’s regretting each and every word as they fall out. “Oh that’s right. You’re happy to let the Devil use you as a Muppet, but the second somebody else offers to stick their neck on the chopping block, you come out here and mope.”

It’s petty, and Dean knows it. Cas’ lips thin once again and the exhaustion that had so recently plagued him and left him bound to the bunker weighs heavily behind his eyes. Dean feels like a prize asshole. As usual, he came in here to try and fix things and instead he’s made them ineffably worse.

The two of them stand there for a long, tense moment. Dean tries to outglare him, but mostly he just feels like he’s floundering. Goddammit, this isn’t what he came out here to do. He’s heading out on a freaking suicide mission – and while he’s previously had a pretty good track record of coming back from spectacularly bad odds, this time he thinks the game might just be up.

Cas, to his credit, continues to hold a steady gaze until Dean finally sighs and relents.

“I’m sorry man,” his shoulders slump and he rubs a hand across his eyes. “I’m being a jackass. I didn’t come out here to give you crap about Lucifer. I just-I still don’t understand why you would do something so stupid.”

Cas’ face twists somewhere between surprise and confusion.

“I wanted to be useful,” he admits. “And I truly did believe that Lucifer could help us beat the Darkness.” This Dean already knows. But then Cas looks meaningfully at him and without a trace of irony adds, “I never would have released him if the need was not truly dire. I would have gladly endured an eternity of possession by my brother if it had kept you safe.”

Dean gawps.

“ _What?_ ” he blurts. Then, “Why wou-?” followed almost immediately with, “Man I am in no way deserving of that kind of…”

“Don’t,” Cas bites back to Dean’s retort with the kind of savagery he usually reserves for his worst foes. “Don’t you dare tell me that you aren’t worth saving. You are worth every sacrifice I have ever made for you.”

And yeah, Dean is pretty floored by that, but Cas isn’t done yet.

“Dean,” he says, voice softening as he steps closer. His eyes are soft too, pleading. “What you want to do…to take on that many souls…”

He’s beginning to sound frustrated and Dean is quick to interrupt. “Cas, man, you know it has to be me. Amara…”

“Yes. I know.” Cas abruptly steps away again. He rubs a hand over his mouth, averting his eyes. The hand drops slowly and his eyes fall closed as he sighs. After a moment he meets Deans gaze again, but this time with a look of unfathomable sadness. “But it doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Another long silence falls and in an effort to quell the miserable look on Cas’ face, Dean briefly considers making a joke. He settles instead for cuffing Cas soundly on the edge of his jaw, but the moment he’s made contact he finds it hard to pull away. His palm presses against Cas’ neck, pulse beating against his skin. Cas’ eyes flutter at the contact and he shuts his eyes, as though the touch pains him.

“If you asked it of me,” Cas murmurs. “I would take this burden.”

A mirthless smile twists at Dean’s lips. His guts churn and his fingers tighten reflexively at the nape of Cas’ neck. “Yeah, I know.”

Cas is incredibly warm, solid beneath his hand. Dean tries for a gentle pat, a precursor to pulling his hand away but really he’s just aching with the want to pull Cas into his arms. To try for a proper hug, a proper goodbye.

This is probably going to be his last chance. His last opportunity to let bygones be and water under the bridge and all that. Dean knows there’s a lot of stuff he’s screwed up over the years when it comes to Cas. He could have done better. Been better. They could have had so much _more_. And now…now there’s no time. His hourglass is spent, the last few grains of sand slipping through his fingers.

Maybe he can get this one small thing right.

“C’mere,” he says, and before his nerve fails him, he uses the hand at Cas’ neck to reel him in. Cas exhales in surprise, but goes willingly into the embrace. They hold tight, the final life preserver on a sinking ship, but propriety only gets you so far and it’s far too soon before they’re pulling apart.

Dean tries to pretend that his hand isn’t still lingering on Cas’ shoulder, unwilling to break contact. Cas appears to feel much the same, a perfect mirror image. But they’re in each other’s space and they’re too close and it’s been such a long time since they’ve been able to just…

They’re both looking down when it happens. Dean isn’t sure who moves first, but the touch of their foreheads is shockingly intimate. He jolts at the initial contact and then forces himself to breathe. He’s going to die, he tells himself. He can allow himself this. Whatever this is. Dean’s jaw works and he shuts his eyes. Swallows past the lump in his throat and hopes that the tears which have sprung into his eyes won’t escape and betray him.

“It would have been worth it,” Cas murmurs, voice cracking. “Taking on Lucifer. Everything. If only I had been able to save you.”

And he sounds so heartbroken that all Dean can do is grit his teeth, forehead to forehead with the best friend he’s ever had, and wish that they’d had a little more time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading lovelies! Please feel free to leave comments and/or kudos. I adore chatting to people about writing, and would absolutely love to know what you all think of this.


End file.
